This week, sex advice columnist, Dan Savage, addressed a letter from a young woman who discovered her father was watching online father/daughter incest themed pornography while she was temporarily living in his house.
(http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/savage-love/Content?oid=4747659.
Feeling “physically sick” by what she saw, the writer asked Dan if she should expose her father’s fetish to their family and end herrelationship with him.
Noting that the writer’s father did not (presumably) exhibit a pattern of inappropriate behaviors, Dan advised the writer to give her father the “benefit of the doubt” about his admittedly disturbing taste in pornography, and keep quiet about her discovery. I agree with Dan’s assessment that that the writer’s dad has a “deeply creepy” kink that seems contained in the fantasy realm. However, Dan missed the boat when he advised his reader to stay silent about her discovery.
The writer, dubbed “Disturbed and Distressed,” is clearly that; disturbed and distressed. If she chooses to opt out of a relationship with the father, she will need support. And if she chooses to maintain her relationship with her father, she may also need support. Though her father may never have intended for her to view his internet browser, he did cause her unintentional harm. “Disturbed and Distressed” has completely valid reasons for feeling uncomfortable around him. Dan should have acknowledged this and advised his reader to seek out a professional therapist with whom she can safely process her experience.